SB LACROIX

I sat on the edge of my pool, feet in the water, notebook on my lap, pen scratching in an attempt to write, yet my efforts were met by an invisible wall of profound stillness. After a few attempts, I put my pen aside. I took a deep breath and turned my focus to my surroundings hoping there I might find the inspiration I needed to write.

The weather was warm, and a gentle breeze caused the wind chimes to sing and wind spinners to dance. The water was cool and felt nice on my feet as they rested upon the steps that descend into the blue body of salt water.  The pool filter pushed air through an inlet valve on the side wall causing the air bubbles breaking the surface to sound like a small water fountain or stream. The heat of the sun warmed my skin. I could hear the wind whispering through the trees and the birds twittering, their song muffled by the occasional vehicle motoring by. I was aware of all these things, but not in the way I might have been prior to my awakening. It was a state of equal awareness of all things where there is no boundary between them; they are all one in the moment, yet each their own expression.

I was a writer born of separation and sorrow, sadness and suffering. I felt my pain deeply and wrote to express it, to transform it, to transmute it, and to heal. My endeavor was successful for the most part, although there is still healing to be done. Writing from a state of stillness after decades of writing from a place of suffering does affect the ease with which I can write. Pain demands to be felt, and it will often write for you. Peace doesn’t demand anything, but if embraced and allowed to simply be, it too has something to say.

Nonduality, unity consciousness and oneness are the names of this awareness of not being separate. I knew of this state of consciousness, but it wasn’t until I experienced it myself, did I understand it. It is an awareness of being everything there is—you are one with all of creation, and nothing—you are not you, this person you call by your name. You are the eternal awareness that experiences it all. It is a state of quiet peace where there is a steady stillness that allows one to simply be.

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